A lighthouse.
Standing strong when times are rough
A pillar of strength
A shining bright light to guide
Aunty Barb was my lighthouse.
My earliest memory of Barb was seeing a photo at Nana Whites house. She was in a white uniform, wearing a white veil and looking so proud. Oh I wanted to look like that.
This lead to many years of setting up a pretend hospital underneath our house during school holidays, with me donning one of Dads white business shirts, and a white petticoat on my head. Wow, as a current Director of Nursing how glad am I that I don’t have to wear that petticoat veil.
As young children, even though we did not live in the same town, Barb was a constant in my sister Bonnies and my lives. We frequently stayed with Barb and Garnet during school holidays as Mum and Dad both worked. I clearly remember sitting on the side of the bed with Barb brushing my waist length hair and saying a prayer with us before we went to bed.
I also recall being very spoilt by Barb. Embarrassing to me now I had learned very quickly as a youngster, that if I demonstrated a liking of something that I usually got it for next birthday or Christmas. And to this day I cherish my carved wooden jewellery box that was just like hers.
Barb was a tremendous support for me, for which I am eternally grateful for. I am sure Bruce and Ally will recall me visiting and staying with them as part of the family often for weeks at a time, as Barb coached and mentored me as I prepared for final state nursing exams.
After Mum passed away with Bonnie and I only in our early 20s Barb made every effort to stay involved in our lives. As did our dear Uncle Ken. For many years there would not be a week go by when we didn’t chat.
Growing up Barb was a strong, independent role model. She was overall one of the most kind and caring people I know. I learned from her how to be confident, resilient, self-assured, and in keeping with our Scottish heritage – a little stubborn.
But not stubbornness in a negative way. Stubborness that demonstrated her passionate side from the perspective of being decisive, full of conviction and able to stand her own ground. You could also say that she liked the last word.
On Wednesday evening as Garnet and I sat with Barb and only about half an hour before she passed, Garnet was talking about what he should do with all her clothes. She turned her head, opened her eyes and looked at him, as if to ask what are you talking about. With both laughed joking that even in her semi conscious state that she still wanted to be in control and have the last word,..
When Barbs health deteriorated in the last few years my only regret was that I was not able to spend more time with her. Last year the day before I was to go on a 8 week trip I visited her to say good bye. During what was considered not a nice situation I told her how I felt. Her response to me was “ it is okay. You have your family and job and I know you love me”.
So now my lighthouse has been retired. But my road remains lit, the waters are calm and I know Barb is at peace, hopefully giving Mum and Dad a hug and letting them know that Bon and I have turned out okay.
RIP Aunty Barb.
Though I will miss you heaps I will gain so much comfort in knowing that you are in a place that is cool in summer, warm in winter and where flowers bloom all the year round.
November 2019